When you showed me myself, I became someone else

Fairwell

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 22:48:38 GMT

My good friend Paige died the other day - car crash in Renton. She was 20 years old. A truck made a U-turn without seeing the jeep in the oncoming lane with Paige and her boyfriend inside. She died in the collision, and he is in the hospital in "satisfactory condition". I can only hope that he recovers from the loss someday. There is nothing fair about this, it's all WRONG. Makes me sick to my stomach. But I have faith in you God, to watch over her.

I miss you dearly Paige, we all do

Finals for Tone, Color, & Comp

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 22:21:29 GMT

1st Day of Term, just entering the Hufflepuff common room

Cedric admiring his trophy the morning after the Quidditch Cup

Memorial Service in the great hall after Cedric is killed in the Triwizard's Tournament

Also, finished, textured Pohrneaux

Working model for my character, no textures yet, just flat color

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 09:28:03 GMT

Aside from having to work on this and other school stuff, life's been pretty good recently.

Finished one

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 00:28:40 GMT

Body Poses

Emotion Heahshots

Gonna color both of these by monday.......hopefully ^_^.

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 07:33:40 GMT

At the end of the day, all the people I dislike, all the people I miss, all my friends, co-workers, and people I've merely glanced at for seconds, find an equilibrium in my mind. They are all human beings, their own entities. It takes my frustration with them away, and raises my love and respect for my friends and family. A nice thought I try to fall asleep to sometimes ^_^

The bad guy

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:16:31 GMT

Billy and his bunny

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 21:24:55 GMT

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 01:20:54 GMT

Geuh! I feel like a cynical old man. Do I have the right to be? All but 3 of my closest friends over the last few years have ended up using me or doing something terrible to me unprovoked. If thats all that keeps coming my way, I can't help but get more and more dead to the world.

Jesus Christ, I'm not in a good place right now

Gross

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 17:24:53 GMT

Best-friend fantasies and fake "I love you" 's
Just to be make the dealer, showing you the goods, feel special.
You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first.

Like a large filthy man, you've filled the interior
With a thick layer of B.O. and a greasy slime
That won't scrub off with a steel-wool sponge.

I walk in public
Knowing I've failed as meat
Knowing I've failed to lose the stink lines
Trailing me like paparazzi.

People change through new extremes
Find a new thing to bring those childhood tears out
And watch your skin age and eyes dull

This new ride may be a junker
Sticky vinyl and a dead carcass smell throughout
But it runs.

Old love that doesn't seem to fade

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 08:33:39 GMT

My mind lacks the foresight to predict the uncomfortable ache
Or the volume of the cartilage pop when I unclench my grip
I've kept my digits still and muscles primed
Gotten so used to the feel of it in that position
Forgotten all about my crinkled fist.

And a neuron to bring this house of cards down is so expected
A twitch in the system, a tug on rope 3 of the B group
The finger comes up half a millimeter, and comes back down.

Imagine an old two ton bronze door swinging open
It couldn't produce a creak like this
Nor could getting hit by it compare with the arthritic sting of the muscle spasm.

Suddenly aware that it hasn't let go
The hand throbs of wasted effort and older, longer pains.

I know what I'm holding
But I don't want to look back
If I can't see her, she won't see me.

You'd think I'd be less gullible by now, but no

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 09:20:26 GMT

Partially done. This is what I look like right now.

Original Sketch

Anyways, I'm not in a very good mood right now, so I'm gonna go sleep.

Another Sketch

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 09:41:08 GMT

I'm gonna add a background and fix some of the issues tomorrow. Also, I should really start writing in here again.

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 09:17:23 GMT

Sketchy Painting

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 23:05:58 GMT

Some other crap I've made in MAX recently

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 21:06:01 GMT

Steam generator dealy.....duh

Crystal flower

Desert landscape made in exactly 1 hour for a speed modeling competition we had in class last week.

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 05:28:51 GMT

A toy I have that I rendered in 3d Max

Me Oog

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 20:08:11 GMT

So there me was, beating rock with stick into powder because me dumb and me caveman. Oog talk so awkward sometimes.

Early mornings are fun sometimes

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 14:20:34 GMT

See the animal in its cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs

What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?

What if all the world's inside of your heart
Just creations of your own
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you really are alone
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the words
Are you hiding in the dreams?

What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?

- "Right Where it Belongs" - Nine Inch Nails

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 11:09:36 GMT

It's so very very late and I can't stop smiling and listening to this song. May the soulful guitar never stop and may this moment never end, and may pain never find me again. Such empty, unattainable wishes that seem so lovely at this time of day. It's so very quiet here now.

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 21:10:51 GMT

Even when you go into darkness to find a place dark enough to not see your surroundings, your eyes adjust, and it all comes flooding back.

Team America

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 05:02:06 GMT

I miss you more then Michael Bay missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor
I miss you more than that movie missed the point
And that’s an awful lot girl
And now, now you’ve gone away
And all I’m trying to say is
Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you

I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part
He’s way better than Ben Affleck
And now all I can think about is your smile
And that shitty movie too
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you

Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more than I miss you

The fish are slanted and require beards

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 07:56:53 GMT

I try so hard to make sure I don't say anything mean, that I behave.
And even when I know I've done nothing wrong, I get treated like trash,
Get told to my face that I'm not respected.
No one has ever taken away my dignity unless they've known they could.
Power of knowledge

They make the same mistakes, over and over, without noticing or caring

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 18:51:36 GMT

I had a disappointing revelation recently. Human beings are nowhere near as unique as we think we are from each other. That is why Freud's views on the human mind seem like generalizations even though they do apply. I keep seeing different people live identical lives because of events in their past. Which is understandable because the more influential an event is in our life, the more likely we are to let our mind deal with it like any other mind would. If I were to ever meet someone from Russia who had lived in the US for about half their life, and grew up with a family comparable to mine, they'd probably be exactly like me. Kind of puts a damper on my views about free will.

And another thought was that I've never seen anyone break the chains of their past. No one in my life has ever risen above their predestined "I'm becoming my parent." role. And it seems that the harder one tries, the faster they run down that road. Maybe if we were to consider that all of the thoughts we are having about our direction and how we want to be different than our lineage, have already been thought by our father or mother. They came to the same conclusions that you will come to, and end up the way you know them in the present. So how can you break destiny? By not trying so hard to be different? What if they already tried that? Too many questions that can't be answered.

I don't care what your political orientation is, dredlocks smell bad

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:54:18 GMT

Party on Capitol Hill
2 Rooms for DJ's and dancing
Cheep booze, buffet and drugs
Way too many people
Aging beetnicks hitting on young girls
Female eyes picking at my clothes
Nothing like dancing the night away
To the sounds of that awesome DJ downstairs
Warm fire outside, making my eyes hurt from the smoke
Fire dancing to complete the evening
Performed topless to "simulate ancient times", rrrright...
Still feeling a little dazed from all the
Substances and occurances
A night well spent.

He can only be killed by stabbing him in the heart with the magical bone sabre of zumacaleb

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 21:12:19 GMT

Oglethorpe: Vee vill use zeh fargate to steal free cable.

Emory: Isn't it a stargate?

Oglethorpe: NEIN!!! It iz zeh FARgate, from zeh makers of Findependence Day, and zhhere iz no vay it iz based on zat moovie, or zat sindicated television show based on zeh movie.

Emory: Alright alright... I'm just saying it looks like the stargate.

Oglethorpe: IT IZ ZA FAAAARRRGATE!!! Not some stupid piece of crap like you say!!!

Umm yeah........you'd have to see it.